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      Scholars Now Believe Pharaoh Had His Head Baker Hanged For Putting Walnuts In Brownies

      tests.marevalo.net / The Babylon Bee · Sunday, 29 January, 2023 - 16:07

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    EGYPT — Scholars have uncovered new evidence showing that Pharaoh's infamous hanging of his chief baker was a result of discovering walnuts in his brownies.

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      Church Installs Trap Doors To Get Praise Band Off Stage More Efficiently

      tests.marevalo.net / The Babylon Bee · Sunday, 29 January, 2023 - 15:33

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    CHARLESTON, WV — In order to make the transition from singing to preaching more seamless, Grace Community Church has installed a trap door that the praise band will fall through as soon as they finish their worship set.

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      Woman In Express Checkout Lane Only Has 2,387 Items Over Limit

      tests.marevalo.net / The Babylon Bee · Saturday, 28 January, 2023 - 21:07

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    BIRMINGHAM, AL — Local woman Jane Adams narrowly exceeded the item limit at the grocery's express checkout line today by a mere 2,387 items.

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      Ford Releases New Safety Feature Where Car Shuts Off If A Woman Gets In Driver's Seat

      tests.marevalo.net / The Babylon Bee · Saturday, 28 January, 2023 - 19:11

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    DEARBORN, MI — Ford Motor Company is set to debut an innovative safety feature for all new models, where the vehicle will instantly shut off if a woman is detected in the driver's seat.

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      AOC Accuses This ChatGPT Fellow Of Wanting To Date Her

      tests.marevalo.net / The Babylon Bee · Saturday, 28 January, 2023 - 17:45

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    WASHINGTON, D.C. — After getting into yet another public spat with ChatGPT, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has accused the program of wanting to date her.

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      Local Church Turns To Robo-Greeters To Combat Volunteer Shortage

      tests.marevalo.net / The Babylon Bee · Saturday, 28 January, 2023 - 00:30

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    PEORIA, IL — Members of Cornerstone Calvary Community Congregation City Church were in for a shock this past Sunday as they were greeted at the doors to the church by an army of state-of-the-art robo-greeters.

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      God Regrets Writing 'Sing To The Lord A New Song' After Hearing The New Songs Christians Are Singing

      tests.marevalo.net / The Babylon Bee · Friday, 27 January, 2023 - 22:08

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    WORLD — Worship leaders worldwide were left stunned today after word began to spread that the Lord now regrets including the command "Sing unto the Lord a new song" in His Word after hearing the new songs Christians are currently singing.

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      babylonbee.com /news/bible-publishers-frantically-add-footnotes-to-sing-to-the-lord-a-new-song-command-after-hearing-new-songs-christians-are-writing/

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      Introducing The Babylon Bee AOC Article Generator

      tests.marevalo.net / The Babylon Bee · Friday, 27 January, 2023 - 21:42

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    Our writers spend way too much time writing jokes about how dumb AOC is. So, we are using A.I. to free them up for more important things.

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      11 Other Problematic Disney Rides That Need To Be Closed Immediately

      tests.marevalo.net / The Babylon Bee · Friday, 27 January, 2023 - 20:55

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    The Walt Disney Company caved to a righteous outcry of public pressure when it gutted beloved log flume attraction Splash Mountain, replacing any reference to its controversial film Song of the South in favor of The Princess and the Frog — a movie starring an African American princess who sings multiple songs in the south.

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