After her brother’s death, Mary-Anne O’Connor never thought she’d meet someone who could carry her grief. Then, at a 21st birthday party, Anthony walked through the door

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My brother Matthew was the closest person in my world when I was 16 years old. He was 17 and we were part of the same social group, always off having adventures. He was incredibly wise for someone so young and he used to solve the problems of the world for me as we played one-on-one basketball together after school.

“You worry too much,” he’d often say as we’d walk home and watch the sunset. “Just enjoy living in this great country, Australia, and family and friends and stuff, you know?” We were like two halves of a whole.

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When Annabelle Hickson was introduced to a family friend’s son during a weekend in the country, he swept her off her feet in every way

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Growing up in Sydney, my parents and I would often holiday with other families. One couple, Moz and Darvall, lived on a farm in Boomi, a town in north-west New South Wales.

Every now and then, they would talk about their youngest son, Ed, already out of high school and on his own adventures around the world, busking with his bagpipes in South America and the like. I was more interested in their funny stories about life in Boomi and never paid much attention to their stories about Ed.

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An accurate gut feeling can be hard to distinguish from overreaction, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith . But there’s probably a good reason you feel this way regardless

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years now, and for the most part, things have been really good. But lately, I’ve been noticing some stuff that’s got me really confused and frustrated. First of all, he’s been really distant , like he’s always got something on his mind but won’t tell me. And when I try to talk to him about it, he brushes it off like it’s nothing. Plus, he’s been cancelling plans at the last minute, which is not like him. It’s like he’s avoiding spending time with me.

But here’s the real issue: I caught him red-handed flirting with some other girl on social media! I trust him, but this is making me second-guess everything. I don’t know whether to confront him about it or just keep quiet and hope it blows over. I just can’t decide between wanting to salvage what we have and not wanting to be played for a fool. And to top it all off, I’m scared that if I bring it up, it’ll just lead to a huge fight and make things worse. So please help, what should I do?

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Jordy (left), 29, a graphic designer, meets Luke, 30, a design consultant

What were you hoping for?
To meet someone who’s up for a laugh.

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After some casual dates, Sarah Bailey was still feeling half-hearted about Nick. Then hours after news about Melbourne’s snap lockdown, he came bearing snacks

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Nick entered my orbit, as is custom these days, via an algorithm. From the start there was an easy rapport between us, a light-heartedness that for me at least, came from a deliberate lack of emotional investment. Following months of lockdown, I had thrown myself at the Melbourne summer and was on a social high. I felt close to my two children and was enjoying the sense that I had regained some control over my life. Plus, I was busy. The kind of busy that didn’t accommodate a serious relationship.

Luckily, Nick seemed similarly casual. In between trading facts about our lives, we joked that if we did ever meet it would probably be terrible, a total bin fire, essentially giving each other permission to walk away with no hard feelings. We chatted online for days and then weeks, hinting at meeting but never locking down a date; he was away and then I was, I had the kids, he had plans.

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Kirstie, 32, who works in emergency management for local government, meets Tom, 32, a doctor

What were you hoping for?
First, for him to show up! And for someone kind and interesting to have a decent conversation with.

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Should you blame yourself for your bad habits? (1m53s); author and teacher, Michael Donkor, on the dilemma of whether to come out to his pupils (7m50s); and missed connections: four extraordinary stories of couples who found love via small ads (26m05s)

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Those who – like me – have spent years looking for love on a six-inch screen know the pitfalls of these platforms

On Valentine’s Day this year, a lawsuit was brought by six people in the US against Match Group , the company behind dating apps such as Tinder, Hinge and Match. The suit blames dating apps for game-like tactics that, they say, contribute to addictive behaviour, making miserable swiping addicts of us all.

Match Group denies this, calling the claims “ridiculous”. But anyone who, like me, has spent years on and off the apps knows that there are clear parallels between love algorithms and online gaming – only with dating apps, we are the commodities.

Georgina Lawton is the author of Raceless: In Search of Family, Identity and the Truth About Where I Belong

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When I got back on the apps, I made up my mind to embrace midlife, menopause and online dating. So much for optimism

I need an online dating intervention. Or a miracle.

It’s 2am and I’m wide awake – weary, wired and spun out.

Shanti L Nelson is a writer and photographer

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