It’s never been easier to take a flattering image of yourself. So why do people commission professional portraits of themselves or loved ones?

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They’re the artwork the public rarely sees: the custom personal portraits hanging in homes, maybe above a mantelpiece, in a study or a bedroom; images of ourselves, family and other loved ones, sometimes even our pets.

With selfies available to anyone with a smartphone and professional photography affordable and accessible, the desire for a painted portrait speaks to the pull of tradition and its unique process – the artist’s interpretation of the subject that often reveals more than just a likeness.

You can’t cordon off every weird dynamic on the big day, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith . But you can be clear you won’t accept trespasses without consequence

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I am getting married next year. For various reasons, including his treatment of me and my siblings, I do not want my father at my wedding. If he is there he will ruin the day by shouting at me for some perceived transgression. He holds grudges like no one else I’ve ever met and he doesn’t accept who I am. He refuses to acknowledge I am disabled and thinks I’m making it all up for attention. He has not met my fiance and I have no intention of introducing them.

The difficulty is that my mother and brother live with him. I’m very close to my brother and I desperately want both of them to attend. I worry my father will either invite himself or create such a row that neither feels able to come. They both know I’m getting married but my father does not. I have no idea what I can do to make sure my wedding isn’t ruined.

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Melissa Noble was 18 when her father revealed he had given up a son for adoption. Meeting her eldest brother for the first time changed her family in unexpected ways

“We need to talk to you about something, darling,” Dad said over dinner one evening. It was summer 2003 and Mum, Dad and I were sitting in the dim light on our family’s veranda.

“Talk to me about what?” I thought. Terrifying scenarios swirled around my head. Was Dad unwell? Did Mum have cancer?

You risk alienating your mother by explicitly opposing her views and choices, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith . If she’s at risk of exploitation, professionals can help

My 62-year-old mother has formed an attachment with a man 20 years her junior (let’s call him Luke). It is not romantic. She spends around 12 hours a day at his house, cooking his meals and cleaning.

Luke inherited his house and a sizeable trust fund. He has rather lavish tastes. Airport transfers, costly grocery shops and seemingly endless home improvements are all provided by my mother.

This advice has been factchecked and approved by Cult Information and Family Support Australia president Tore Klevjer.

This letter has been edited for length.

The cookbook author scores, salts and stuffs the eggplants with a cheesy and herby breadcrumb mix. The result? A soft and saucy vegetarian midweeker

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Eggplant is the introverted extrovert of the vegetable kingdom: slow to warm up, sure, but before long it’s the life of the party. Like any I-E, this nightshade needs time and tools to break down its defences, lest it be served up in its naturally bitter, astringent form; if you’ve ever bitten into an eggplant and it bit back, that’s because it’s undercooked.

No one likes to risk bitey eggplant, which is why – despite its marvellous meatiness – many home cooks shy away from it as a meat-free midweeker. But by halving, slashing and then salting it you also halve its cooking time.

Four stylists explain how to use knits, coats and accessories to transform a favourite frock into an all-seasons garment

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A great dress (obviously one that has pockets ) can be effortless in the truest sense of the word. Flattering, comfortable and a self-contained outfit, especially during summer when it’s warm enough to leave the house without a jacket. Now, as the temperature drops in the southern hemisphere, it might seem like the time to relegate summer dresses to the back of your wardrobe. But, with the return of Y2K fashion and the trend towards layering and dresses being worn over pants , that doesn’t have to be the case. Here four stylists explain how to build a winter outfit around a summer dress.

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Inner peace, clarity of mind and for some, better orgasms. Readers share their experiences of swearing off sex, whether temporarily or long term

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Over the last few years more than 120 million posts have appeared on TikTok about the rise of an unexpected trend: self-imposed celibacy .

While some predicted a post-pandemic era of “sexual licentiousness ”, readers from all walks of life and across generations told us that far from doubling down on hookup culture, they’ve found refreshing clarity in a more austere approach to physical intimacy.

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She may not realise the effect she’s having on you, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Try to be clear with her about what would help

I had my first child around one year ago and the previously amicable and warm relationship with my mother-in-law has since become cool and standoffish. I feel my mother-in-law is emotionally manipulative and puts a lot of pressure on my husband, and in turn me, to spend time with my daughter. I think these feelings initiated for me when she was too present in our home in the first hours and days of my daughter coming home. On reflection, it feels as though she was invading a space that was very private and intimate at a time when I was exhausted, sore and vulnerable and unable to hold my boundaries myself. Since then I have been resentful and felt she was taking advantage of my exhaustion to get intimate time with her newborn granddaughter, as opposed to respecting what was the right thing for me. I now feel a need to keep her at arm’s length for fear she will again overstep.

My husband is supportive but ultimately feels pulled by his mother’s emotional manipulation. All in all, she is a kind woman, and I don’t think she will have even considered that her behaviour was an overstep. I don’t really know where to go from here, as I do want my daughter to have a relationship with her grandmother, but I also don’t want my mother-in-law being involved in as many aspects of my life as I know she desires. What can I do?

In her fortnightly review of fitness and wellbeing activities, comedian Jennifer Wong finds that mastering the Chinese martial art is a matter of mind over navel

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For the first 15 minutes of my tai chi class, we remain entirely in one spot to warm up. From afar, it probably looks as though we’re standing with our arms by our side and then – in slow motion – lifting them in front of us to 90 degrees. But if you were to look inside my brain, you would see my synapses firing trying to keep up with the instructor’s directions to do things that can’t be seen.

“Form the arches under your feet. Soften your knees, not bending,” says Angela, a tai chi instructor of 28 years. “Visualise the back of your knees. Relax there to relax your knee bones in front.”