‘Intentions’ badges also launched, as dating app sector sees drops in share prices and moves to diversify

“In the end it was the data that killed me,” says Penny* about her decision to leave the dating app Bumble. If she opened the app she might receive 100 likes, 25% of which she might be interested in. She would look at their profiles and write individualised messages; a few would respond, perhaps one would result in a date.

“That’s a lot of effort to get one date,” she says. “It’s exhausting.”

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Inner peace, clarity of mind and for some, better orgasms. Readers share their experiences of swearing off sex, whether temporarily or long term

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Over the last few years more than 120 million posts have appeared on TikTok about the rise of an unexpected trend: self-imposed celibacy .

While some predicted a post-pandemic era of “sexual licentiousness ”, readers from all walks of life and across generations told us that far from doubling down on hookup culture, they’ve found refreshing clarity in a more austere approach to physical intimacy.

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When MasterChef Australia winner Julie Goodwin met Mick, she thought he was ‘too cool’ for her. Then one moonlit night, she realised he was a keeper

In the weeks between school ending and university beginning in Sydney, I ran into my friend Chris who was flat-out with a new youth group he had started under the banner of St Vincent de Paul. I asked if I could come along and rocked up to my first meeting in January 1989.

The other people in the room were all guys who had gone to St Leo’s Catholic College, including Micky G, the tallest boy I had ever met, standing at six foot seven inches – 2 metres. There was colourful language and boisterous laughter. These guys were rough as guts, but here they were organising blanket and food drives for local people who were struggling. They were distributing sandwiches in Sydney city in the dead of night. They had hearts of pure gold, and they became my people.

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This omission demonstrates a troubling facility with concealment, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith . To move forward, you need to be satisfied there are no more big surprises

After several months of dating, my partner revealed he had another ex-wife and three teenage children. He’d only ever mentioned one ex-wife and two small children. He explained his rationale and I decided to continue with the relationship. I had been single for 15 years and I feel I’ve really connected with him.

We have the best time together, and although he’s away a lot with work, he’s communicative, considerate and has given me the sort of relationship I never thought I’d find. I feel he genuinely loves me and wants the best for me. He’s always saying how much he appreciates me. But I am nervous about the future as he has so many commitments (I don’t have children but hope to one day, and he’s on board).

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After her brother’s death, Mary-Anne O’Connor never thought she’d meet someone who could carry her grief. Then, at a 21st birthday party, Anthony walked through the door

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My brother Matthew was the closest person in my world when I was 16 years old. He was 17 and we were part of the same social group, always off having adventures. He was incredibly wise for someone so young and he used to solve the problems of the world for me as we played one-on-one basketball together after school.

“You worry too much,” he’d often say as we’d walk home and watch the sunset. “Just enjoy living in this great country, Australia, and family and friends and stuff, you know?” We were like two halves of a whole.

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When Annabelle Hickson was introduced to a family friend’s son during a weekend in the country, he swept her off her feet in every way

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Growing up in Sydney, my parents and I would often holiday with other families. One couple, Moz and Darvall, lived on a farm in Boomi, a town in north-west New South Wales.

Every now and then, they would talk about their youngest son, Ed, already out of high school and on his own adventures around the world, busking with his bagpipes in South America and the like. I was more interested in their funny stories about life in Boomi and never paid much attention to their stories about Ed.

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An accurate gut feeling can be hard to distinguish from overreaction, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith . But there’s probably a good reason you feel this way regardless

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years now, and for the most part, things have been really good. But lately, I’ve been noticing some stuff that’s got me really confused and frustrated. First of all, he’s been really distant , like he’s always got something on his mind but won’t tell me. And when I try to talk to him about it, he brushes it off like it’s nothing. Plus, he’s been cancelling plans at the last minute, which is not like him. It’s like he’s avoiding spending time with me.

But here’s the real issue: I caught him red-handed flirting with some other girl on social media! I trust him, but this is making me second-guess everything. I don’t know whether to confront him about it or just keep quiet and hope it blows over. I just can’t decide between wanting to salvage what we have and not wanting to be played for a fool. And to top it all off, I’m scared that if I bring it up, it’ll just lead to a huge fight and make things worse. So please help, what should I do?

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Jordy (left), 29, a graphic designer, meets Luke, 30, a design consultant

What were you hoping for?
To meet someone who’s up for a laugh.

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After some casual dates, Sarah Bailey was still feeling half-hearted about Nick. Then hours after news about Melbourne’s snap lockdown, he came bearing snacks

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Nick entered my orbit, as is custom these days, via an algorithm. From the start there was an easy rapport between us, a light-heartedness that for me at least, came from a deliberate lack of emotional investment. Following months of lockdown, I had thrown myself at the Melbourne summer and was on a social high. I felt close to my two children and was enjoying the sense that I had regained some control over my life. Plus, I was busy. The kind of busy that didn’t accommodate a serious relationship.

Luckily, Nick seemed similarly casual. In between trading facts about our lives, we joked that if we did ever meet it would probably be terrible, a total bin fire, essentially giving each other permission to walk away with no hard feelings. We chatted online for days and then weeks, hinting at meeting but never locking down a date; he was away and then I was, I had the kids, he had plans.

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