He’s ashamed and embarrassed at his reaction – but he seems unable to get past it. And I am not going to change

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My partner does not like going down on me. He says it tastes quite bitter and that my pubic hair leaves an unpleasant sensation. Unlike some women, however, I am not willing to shave. I did when I was much younger, but I didn’t like it.

This relationship is a serious one and we both want to fix this.

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When MasterChef Australia winner Julie Goodwin met Mick, she thought he was ‘too cool’ for her. Then one moonlit night, she realised he was a keeper

In the weeks between school ending and university beginning in Sydney, I ran into my friend Chris who was flat-out with a new youth group he had started under the banner of St Vincent de Paul. I asked if I could come along and rocked up to my first meeting in January 1989.

The other people in the room were all guys who had gone to St Leo’s Catholic College, including Micky G, the tallest boy I had ever met, standing at six foot seven inches – 2 metres. There was colourful language and boisterous laughter. These guys were rough as guts, but here they were organising blanket and food drives for local people who were struggling. They were distributing sandwiches in Sydney city in the dead of night. They had hearts of pure gold, and they became my people.

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Why tie the knot with someone you have lived with for years – and what happens next? Three women share their stories

On the surface, marriage might not appear relevant to many Australians today. Indeed, most women and half of men say that’s so . De facto couples enjoy the same legal rights as their wedded counterparts, one in seven Australians are in a de facto relationship, and a new survey showed a 15% drop in marriage rates among young Australians between 2001 and 2021 . Yet sometimes even long-term de facto couples are choosing to marry, even after decades (and multiple children) together.

Why? And more pertinently: after such a long time, does it change anything?

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With penetrative sex no longer an option, Sebastian and Teresa have found different ways to satisfy one other
How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously

I was really worried about how it would affect Teresa. There’s this whole stigma that a ‘real’ man has a working penis

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Trisha, 61, a yoga teacher, meets Neil, 65, a meditation teacher

What were you hoping for?
Konstantin meets Villanelle.

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The sexual wanderings of a partner don’t always spell the end. Readers share their experiences of how their relationship came out the other side

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What counts as infidelity varies from couple to couple and how they choose to handle it is also unique. A drunken kiss on the dancefloor might be innocuous to some; for others, a relationship-ending catastrophe.

How readers chose to approach their straying partners varied dramatically depending on the length and nature of their relationship and what shape the outside encounter took. If families and mutual assets were involved – and other relationship factors were stable – readers tended to double down on commitments, opting to frame such transgressions as an opportunity for growth and refreshment. And the further down the road couples had travelled together, the more likely they would stay together post-infidelity.

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This omission demonstrates a troubling facility with concealment, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith . To move forward, you need to be satisfied there are no more big surprises

After several months of dating, my partner revealed he had another ex-wife and three teenage children. He’d only ever mentioned one ex-wife and two small children. He explained his rationale and I decided to continue with the relationship. I had been single for 15 years and I feel I’ve really connected with him.

We have the best time together, and although he’s away a lot with work, he’s communicative, considerate and has given me the sort of relationship I never thought I’d find. I feel he genuinely loves me and wants the best for me. He’s always saying how much he appreciates me. But I am nervous about the future as he has so many commitments (I don’t have children but hope to one day, and he’s on board).

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Harry (left), 26, a supply planner, meets Jack, 27, a dictionary editor

What were you hoping for?
To meet someone interesting without having to endure the trials and tribulations of online dating.

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We’ve been together for five years, but I’m losing interest. And he won’t talk about it

My partner of five years has problems with premature ejaculation. He gets overexcited easily and can sometimes ejaculat e before any penetration. I used to have a high sex drive and love having sex, but now I dread the disappointment. He is always willing to try to satisfy me , but I find it so disappointing and I lose interest. It’s affecting how I feel about him. He gets very insecure when we talk about it, so I can’t discuss how I feel without him thinking he’s a failure.

This condition can be treated successfully by a qualified sex therapist. Your partner simply needs to realise that he could have far more pleasure by seeking help for what is a very common issue. Try a matter-of-fact approach and educate him; despite what he probably thinks, he can learn to control his moment of ejaculation and learn to last longer – for his sake as well as yours. Sex therapists’ treatment for early ejaculation usually involves exercises that, while they can be done alone, are often best carried out with a partner, so express your willingness to support him in that way. If he agrees, it will be rewarding for both of you.

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