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      This is how we do it: ‘I believe in polyamory in theory - but I’m not sure I’m enjoying it in practice’

      news.movim.eu / TheGuardian · 12:00

    Maeve and Tom invite other people to join them for threesomes, and he recently started dating other people as well – but Maeve is finding it challenging

    How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously

    ‘In my head Tom’s other partners are perfect, and will whisk him away from me’

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      ‘The audience just looks at what your genitals are like’: why Joanna Lumley thinks we should axe sex scenes

      news.movim.eu / TheGuardian · 4 days ago - 14:49

    It’s rude, distracting – and the acting equivalent of having your pants pulled down in a playground. Should we call time on them?

    A few weeks ago, Henry Cavill made headlines by declaring that he didn’t particularly like filming sex scenes . Given the glut of nudity-filled film and television recently, Cavill seemed a lone voice, a solitary moral crusader holding his head high above the muck.

    But now another figure has come to his side. A veteran performer, who has lived through several cycles of onscreen permissiveness, and holds a greater understanding than most of the cynical impulses that call for an actor to disrobe in the name of art. I’m sorry to break this to you, but you probably shouldn’t expect to see Joanna Lumley in a future episode of Euphoria.

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      My partner and I still have sex. But is she only doing it out of kindness?

      news.movim.eu / TheGuardian · 4 days ago - 08:00

    Things were great at the start. Less than two years on, she seems to be losing interest

    I’m a 33 - year-old man who has been in a relationship with a woman for the best part of two years . While we have had ups and downs during our relationship, we do still regularly have sex . At the start , the sexual intimacy was good – and we both initiated. But recently I’ve noticed less interest from my partner, while my libido levels have remained really high. It feels like my partner only engages to satisfy me.

    People do sometimes go through the motions of lovemaking without really wanting to – they bypass their real feelings for some reason, such as wanting to stay in the relationship. If you are sensing this in your partner, it’s time to have a gentle and non-blaming talk with her. Perhaps you could ask her what else you could do to give her more pleasure. Ask if there is something hindering her sexual enjoyment, such as work stress or general anxiety. Perhaps she has a physical issue she has not yet disclosed.

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      This is how we do it: ‘Keeping Fridays free for sex helps us get through our stressful weeks’

      news.movim.eu / TheGuardian · 7 days ago - 12:00

    Ava and Lucas’s full-on lives mean they have to carve out time for intimacy – even if it’s just for a quickie

    How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously

    Intimacy gives me the ability to remind myself I am loved and needed, in the face of this constant string of stress

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      My best friend and I disagreed over talking about sex – now she’s no longer speaking to me | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

      news.movim.eu / TheGuardian · Friday, 23 February - 14:30

    It sounds as if there might be something else at play here. Either way, I’d think seriously about whether you actually want the friendship to continue

    I’m having a problem with my closest friend, who is refusing to speak to me.

    We disagree on how acceptable it is to talk about sex : I think it’s something we should be able to talk about freely, but she doesn’t. After she recently told a mutual friend that she was “oversharing ” when sex was mentioned, I requested some clarity on her boundaries. She responded with anger, saying that my requests for clarity were exhausting, that it should be clear from past conversations.

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      I’m 70 and have never been able to bring myself to orgasm

      news.movim.eu / TheGuardian · Tuesday, 20 February - 08:00 · 1 minute

    I am able to climax during intercourse – but touching myself does not bring satisfaction, which perplexes me

    I am a heterosexual woman who just turned 70. I have never been able to give myself pleasure or masturbate to achieve orgasm. I am perplexed as to why this is. I have always been able to climax through penetration during intercourse and often experience multiple orgasms that are very intense and satisfying, but never through oral or digital stimulation by a partner. I have had dreams – but very rarely – where I wake up having extremely intense multiple orgasms that can go on for a very long time. I know I was not touching myself – it was all stimulated by the dream. Touching myself does not bring any satisfaction so I just don’t pursue it . I only feel aroused when I have chemistry with a man I am attracted to physically and intellectually, and have thoughts of loving. I want to understand this about myself – I hope that you are able to shed some light on it.

    You seem to understand who you are sexually and have analysed your sexual style quite well but I am wondering why you are curious about this now? Is there a particular reason why you are seeking more answers? Sometimes people focus more on self pleasuring at times when they lack confidence in their ability to attract a partner, or when they become fearful that, due to their particular circumstances, partners may not be readily available. While it is true that most people learn to self-pleasure fairly early on, there is no rule that says a person must learn to masturbate at any particular point in life – or ever. If you decide you want to try, find some time to begin to explore your own body and allow your mind to fantasise about the kind of loving, connected scenarios that do arouse you. The process will take some time, so be patient.

    Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

    If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions .

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      This is how we do it: ‘She bought some manuals – now she’s fantastic at oral sex’

      news.movim.eu / TheGuardian · Saturday, 17 February - 12:00


    Mary had lost her confidence so has polished her skills, and Fred writes her erotic poems
    How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously

    Mary has been known to waltz into my room naked in the morning and initiate

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      True romance: how to keep the love alive when money is tight

      news.movim.eu / TheGuardian · Friday, 16 February - 14:00

    You don’t have to spend a fortune to have fun with someone you adore – especially if you stop measuring yourself against other couples

    For the three years my partner and I have been engaged, we have tiptoed around the financial elephant in the room: how much should we spend on our wedding? We’re both freelance and our finances fluctuate, so for a long time we did what any tension-averse introverts do and didn’t talk about it.

    Eventually – a few months ago – we had The Chat, decided we didn’t need anything flashy to show how in love we are and settled on a small register office affair followed by a party upstairs in a pub. The point is, rule one of keeping a long-term relationship alive when financial burdens hit is good communication.

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      True romance: how to keep the love alive when your kids have left home

      news.movim.eu / TheGuardian · Thursday, 15 February - 14:00

    After decades living cheek by jowl with your children, you and your partner have finally got the place to yourself. Time to have some fun …

    Couples whose grown children have finally left home – empty nesters, if you will – are visited by twin blessings that can quickly come to seem like challenges: a sudden surfeit of privacy and an unfamiliar excess of time. After years of wearing the armour of parenting, to find yourselves a couple again – alone together and at a loose end – can be daunting and a little embarrassing.

    This juncture also provides a golden opportunity for a reset, but to reinvigorate the romantic side of your relationship you may first have to find it. Don’t worry: it’s probably exactly where you parked it two decades ago.

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